Practical Moms Feature: These Little Waves

Today, I get to share a friend with you.  She’s brilliant, talented, supportive, and kind.  She is there when you need her, and even when you think you don’t.  Her words will draw you in and make you feel at home.  Truly, she needs no introduction.  Please…enjoy her words here, but then visit her there…because Galit Breen is someone you need to get to know.

***

I make my way downstairs, by feel, and by dark.

Each first breath and morning stretch and slipper step is much too loud for this early quiet.

Above, I hear Jason get ready for his own day. His suit and tie a sharp line to the fuzziness that I now know best.

Outside, dark is just giving in to light. The sky’s smoky blues and shocking reds peek through blackened trees.

A neighbor brightens a single light. It shines alone, and seeps into my kitchen.

For a moment, I pause, splay my fingers onto the counter, and wonder why she’s up so early.

My Mind Pencil starts weaving her details quickly, filling in -sketching, even- what I don’t know.

I force myself to look away, busy my hands in my own kitchen, focus on my own story.

Jason’s steps gentle toward me, he is as careful as I am. It’s my birthday, and we want to start the day just the two of us.

And we do.

We sit knee to knee, share coffee steam and croissant sweetness, our elbows grazing, our voices murmuring.

On this day of new and fresh and begin, we’re focusing within.

And while the rest of my day will be loud and messy and more about my children than me, this is the perfect start.

***

Some gems are bold, bright, easily grasped.

The sweetest of belly laughs, the warmest of laced fingers, the strongest of wrapped arms.

And when we slow down and bite back “Be carefuls” and “Not nows,” they’re there.

But others, need to be carved out.

And that’s exactly what this moment was.

A chance to connect and charge, better at each of our days for having started it enveloped within a single light, alone in the dark.

When Jason and I got married, a friend gave us a card that read, “The best thing a  father can do for his children, is love their mother.”

We used to feel and do and be this so easily.

But a decade and three children and several careers and a house and chores and so very many responsibilities later, these gifts are more often planned, than not.

(They mean just as much this way.)

***

Kayli and Chloe and Brody make their way downstairs as Jason slips out the door; our days officially Different for the next twelve hours.

They’re sleepy eyed and pink cheeked and an absolute blend of the two of us.

I clear Jason’s and my dishes away, swap them for the kids’ Birthday Breakfast.

“Did you already eat?” Kayli asks. Lips pursed, fingers splayed onto the counter, just as mine were moments before.
“I did,” I answer, sliding breakfast her way, matching her stance. “With Daddy.”
I tell them because I want them to know about our focus within, the value of quiet, and that the reason that I’m fully present with them now, is because of the gift of our start.
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About Katie

Katie Hurley is a Child, Adolescent, and Family Psychotherapist and Parenting Expert in Los Angeles, CA. She works in private practice in the South Bay area of Los Angeles, writes freelance for Everyday Family and allParenting, and blogs for The Huffington Post. She has a rock and roll husband and two kids. Katie believes in love, lattes, and the power of play.

Comments

  1. Thank you so much for having me here, Katie.

    Honored, doesn’t even begin to cover it.

    xo
    Galit Breen recently posted..EasyMy Profile

  2. Such a perfect, perfect day, Galit. Gorgeous writing, already.

  3. How beautiful and what a great way to start the day. My husband and I are floundering lately to find a few minutes of us time. Thank goodness we both have patience :).
    Jessica recently posted..What Ryan Gosling Wants to Tell YouMy Profile

  4. So beautiful.
    I wish that we had that time together. Shawn is always scrambling in the morning and Chunky always makes sure to wake us up before the sun.
    One day when he’s older I’m sure that we’ll have more moments like this ;)
    Xoxo
    Kimberly recently posted..This Is My OntarioMy Profile

  5. Actually, I think that what you describe as ‘candy coating’ in your own blog, that ability to actually be the Mom who looks warmly at even the annoying moments, who is willing to say “I’m sorry”, is what is going to make you the one who has a good relationship with her teens. And I’m totally jealous of your wake-up with your husband.
    Jessie Powell recently posted..Set listMy Profile

  6. So beautiful, Galit. And happy birthday to you!

  7. Galit! First of all, happy belated birthday. It sounds like the greatest gift was a little breakfast with your husband. And isn’t it true that those moments — which used to come so easily — are so hard to find these days? But the challenge to a great marriage is to keep connecting. So I will wish you love and health and happiness and a little alone together with your man.
    Renee Schuls-Jacobson recently posted..The Horror of Public Speaking: A #LessonLearned by Chrystal H.My Profile

  8. Geez, Galit! No chills this time, just tears! You brought me to tears. Of inspiration, of love, of wanting more from the ring on my left hand. For the desire for both of us to be people that actually say more than Bye and I love you in the morning and to reconnect more than the short minutes after brushed teeth and lazy eyelids.

    “But a decade and three children and several careers and a house and chores and so very many responsibilities later, these gifts are more often planned, than not.” YES!

  9. Oh, this is perfect Galit…so sweet, as always.

    And your Mind Pencil? Brilliant.
    Sherri recently posted..Tell Me a StoryMy Profile

  10. I can’t think of a nicer way to have started your special day. :)
    Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell recently posted..Do You Love Movie Previews As Much As I Do?My Profile

  11. Such beautiful words and beautiful imagery. Thank you for the reminder that my marriage is as important as my motherhood. Happy Birthday!!!

  12. What a wonderful start to your birthday.
    Beautiful words, as usual.
    xo
    Runnermom-jen recently posted..Questions Answered…My Profile

  13. Oh Galit. This filled me up with …. so much. (and left many tear streaks on my face) I can’t get enough of your writing. It’s breathtaking, poetic, warm and simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful moment on your day. Happy Birthday my friend.
    January recently posted..An Adventure Walk (complete with crappy phone photos)My Profile

  14. What beautiful words and beautiful imagery. Thank you for reminding me that my marriage is as important as my motherhood. Happy Birthday!!

  15. Days started like this do seem to go much better… for our house too. The extra half hour of sleep pales in comparison to the half hour of quiet togetherness. Happy Birthday dear you.
    Jamie recently posted..if i could turn back time — greta funkMy Profile

  16. Galit, you captured the moment beautifully, how a small shared breakfast between you and Jason can mean so much in the overall health of your marriage, and through that, your parenting.
    angela recently posted..Running Back – Get Fit UpdateMy Profile

  17. Oh yes. A stolen moment to renew and recharge. To remember why we started all this craziness in the first place.

    A father should love his children’s mother. Yes. A thousand times yes.
    Angie @ The Little Mumma recently posted..Beautiful BiasMy Profile

  18. You know that I love your words and how they make me feel … but today, I could not help but think how very much I just want to sit with you, share our coffee, knees touching ;)

    (in a non sexay kinda way)
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Blissdom, a recap and omgosh, its the weekend!My Profile

  19. It’s gorgeous, but I absolutely loved this line, “The sweetest of belly laughs, the warmest of laced fingers, the strongest of wrapped arms.”

  20. Oh how I love the line, “the reason that I’m fully present with them now, is because of the gift of our start.” My husband and I are such a better team and such better parents when we make the time to just be with each other. Having that alone time is so very precious to us both!
    When my father passed, I spoke at the memorial service and I shared that one of the things that gave me such joy, confidence, and sense of stability growing up was seeing how much my dad adored my mother! And…it helped me to know what I would one day desire for my own marriage.
    Thank you for a beautiful post, Galit.
    Elizabeth recently posted..Frugal Fashionista FridayMy Profile

    • Thank you, Elizabeth for your kind and thoughtful comment!

      I love what you wrote about your parents’ gift to you and truly hope to do the exact same for our children.

      (I’m so sorry for your loss.)
      Galit Breen recently posted..Practical ParentingMy Profile

  21. Oh, Galit. I love love love this.
    As I read and type, my children are in the Jacuzzi right outside the window (don’t hate me; it’s California).

    They are with their best friends (since birth), the children of a couple who set me up with Bill almost 18 years ago. That same couple is now getting a divorce. And my friend, their mother, dropped her kids off and went home to her empty house to sleep and mourn the life she thought she’d live.

    Life offers no guarantees; not everyone is meant to see “forever” – but Bill and spent the past 18 years doing whatever we can to remain each other’s best friends.

    He is in San Francisco tonight on business. And when he returns tomorrow, I will tell him that I missed my best friend. Because I did.

    The children are laughing and splashing and living.
    And I? I am waiting.

    For him.

    • Ohmyheart Julie (that one was just for you) I love your words and your best friendship and your true love.

      I’m thinking a lot about Forever and yes, am willing to work for it in so many areas of my life – this, being one of them.

      Also? I could never hate you. Even for sunshine!

      (My heart hurts for your friend.)

      xo
      Galit Breen recently posted..Practical ParentingMy Profile

  22. Leighann says:

    Gorgeous as always Galit!!
    I love that you take time with Jason to be with him and re-kindle.
    I find it difficult at this point, with a toddler, to be with Brian like we used to. But ever once in awhile I’ll catch a glimpse. It will be there again one day.
    Leighann recently posted..When your Child’s Classmate has a Peanut AllergyMy Profile

    • Thank you so much, my dear friend.

      And oh my, yes- -those toddler years are draining to the core, aren’t why? It took us a LONG time to get here! But those glimpses? Are pure magic, aren’t they?

      xo
      Galit Breen recently posted..Practical ParentingMy Profile

  23. That sounds like a great start to the day. Quiet time with just the two of you. It seems like it’s a rare thing around my house.
    Jessica recently posted..Things I Can’t SayMy Profile

  24. I love starting your day with your husband. What an important time to connect and recharge. We have a saying that 50% of raising kids is having a healthy relationship with your spouse. The card, “The best thing a father can do for his children, is love their mother” puts it very well, doesn’t it?
    Rivki recently posted..29 Leap Day WishesMy Profile

  25. Galit, this is the way I want to start my next birthday! A little alone time with my husband would be such a wonderful present. It is also an amazing reminder of where everything began…with just the two of you and for your kids to take notice and hold it close to their hearts too.
    Beautiful as always!!! xo!
    Kristen recently posted..I Had A Little Work Done Over The Weekend…My Profile

  26. This post really resonated with me! Your “brand” of parenting feels like my own. Happy Birthday again, Galit. I’m glad you enjoyed your birthday so beautifully.
    Jessica recently posted..52|9: My toddler can “read”My Profile

  27. Oh your writing.
    I wish I had more to say, but I’m laid low by it.
    San Diego Momma recently posted..Find and Remind, Part Two: Now With Book Suggestions!My Profile

  28. You capture, with utter brilliance, the “truths” of a long marriage. The love that’s still there, but muffled by the noise of life. The work it takes to keep the two of YOU front and center in a life that’s so often not about the two of you because of all the things you mention.

    You brought tears to my eyes today, Galit.
    Missy | The Literal Mom recently posted..Literal Mom Monday – Know Your Child’s Personality Part 2My Profile

  29. This is so lovely. Moments like this are precious and I’m glad you had this. I wholeheartedly agree with husbands loving their wives well…and how good it is for our kids.
    Beautifully written.
    heidi recently posted..surrenderMy Profile

  30. This is really beautiful writing. It sure was a break from the typical monotony. Thank you for sharing.

  31. So poetic, so filled with beauty as always Galit. I love to read you.
    Lady Jennie recently posted..Endives in BéchamelMy Profile

  32. Always, always, Galit you make me stop what I’m doing and take in the world around me. You help me slow down and appreciate the small moments, the warm hand, the loving gesture. Thank you for being you and for the wonderful inspiration. XO
    Jennifer recently posted..The Apple, The Monster, And The CookieMy Profile

  33. I’m so glad that you and your hubby find the time to enjoy quiet, beautiful moments like this. What a gift, indeed. XOXO
    Charlotte recently posted..single stepMy Profile

  34. I need to take notes from you, Galit. Your words shine with warmth and sunshine and teach me how to live, my friend.

  35. Wild Child Mama says:

    Your writing is poetry. I love it.
    This post was of particular interest to me because my husband and I were just talking about this last night. The best part about the conversation was that we wer talking. We hardly find the time these days. There is little possibility that we will spend enough time in the morning to walk to the kitchen in the morning before the kids wake. But what a beautiful time to share. Quiet mornings. Lovely.
    Wild Child Mama recently posted..3 Things ThursdayMy Profile

    • Thank you, my friend.

      And I’m so with you – finding time to have a real conversation (beyond the details of the day, plans, etc.) is such a huge challenge.

      Le sigh.

      At least we *want* to do something about it, which seems to me says so very much, too!
      Galit Breen recently posted..Cleaning Tips for Busy ParentsMy Profile

  36. I agreed with Wild Child Mama. Thank You!
    nsn search recently posted..NSN SearchMy Profile

  37. That writing is like music. Great breakfast but for me I will need to add some whole-grain into the mix
    Cindy recently posted..Free Hd MoviesMy Profile

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