Every Mom is Mom Enough

Every mom is Mom Enough.

 

You can listen to the hype, if you feel like beating yourself up for a while.

 

You can believe the negative spin, if you’re into cyber-arguments with other moms.

 

You can even scroll through the what-ifs in your mind for a while, if you feel the need to indulge your feelings of guilt (we all have them, after all).

 

Or…you can walk on.

 

You can choose to avoid the arguments.

 

You can remind yourself that you are, most certainly, Mom Enough, no matter how long your nursed those babies of yours and regardless of where they slept.

 

There is no war between attachment parents and non-attachment parents.  There is no medal to be won for the “best” parenting choices.  There are just little ones who need us.  Small people who look to us to help them learn and grow.

 

Infants need a few things…

  • Unconditional love
  • Nourishment
  • Hugs, kisses, and snuggles
  • Protection
  • Empathy
  • Patience

 

Even on the hardest days, when showers didn’t happen and sleep was non-existent, you most likely managed to meet their every need.

 

Older children need a few things too…

  • Unconditional love
  • Nourishment
  • Hugs, kisses, and snuggles
  • Protection
  • Empathy
  • Patience
  • Self-esteem
  • Assertiveness
  • Independence

 

Most moms know the difficulty that is a day with overtired toddlers and tantrums 35,000 feet in the air.  Most moms know the pain of a child scorned by his peers and the helplessness of standing back and letting him assert his own needs.  Even on the hardest days, you most likely managed to meet their every need.

 

Teens need all of the above, and then some…teens also need:

  • Freedom
  • Unconditional support
  • Gentle guidance
  • Forgiveness
  • Understanding

 

Moms of teens know the anxiety of the missed curfew, the party that might include drinking, and dating.  Moms of teens know about rebellion, self-esteem issues, and friendship trouble.  Even on the hardest days, you most likely managed to meet their every need.

 

It doesn’t matter if you subscribe to the latest and greatest theory in parenting, consult a professional along the way, or just learn by experience.

 

It doesn’t matter if you breastfeed or formula feed, use cloth or disposable diapers, or co-sleep or sleep train.  None of that matters.

 

What matters is that you provide unconditional love, nourishment, affection, and empathy.  What matters is that you always help, and never hurt.  What matters is that you are forgiving, patient, and a positive role model.  What matters is that you care.

 

As you celebrate Mother’s Day, and every other day of being a mom, please remember this:

 

You are all More than Mom Enough.

 

And there is no space in this world for Mommy Wars…

 

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About Katie

Katie Hurley is a Child, Adolescent, and Family Psychotherapist and Parenting Expert in Los Angeles, CA. She works in private practice in the South Bay area of Los Angeles, writes freelance for Everyday Family, Momtastic, SafeBee for UL and mom.me. She also blogs for The Huffington Post. She is the author of "The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World" (Tarcher/Penguin, 2015) She has a rock and roll husband and two kids. Katie believes in love, lattes, and the power of play.