Every Mom is Mom Enough

Every mom is Mom Enough.

 

You can listen to the hype, if you feel like beating yourself up for a while.

 

You can believe the negative spin, if you’re into cyber-arguments with other moms.

 

You can even scroll through the what-ifs in your mind for a while, if you feel the need to indulge your feelings of guilt (we all have them, after all).

 

Or…you can walk on.

 

You can choose to avoid the arguments.

 

You can remind yourself that you are, most certainly, Mom Enough, no matter how long your nursed those babies of yours and regardless of where they slept.

 

There is no war between attachment parents and non-attachment parents.  There is no medal to be won for the “best” parenting choices.  There are just little ones who need us.  Small people who look to us to help them learn and grow.

 

Infants need a few things…

  • Unconditional love
  • Nourishment
  • Hugs, kisses, and snuggles
  • Protection
  • Empathy
  • Patience

 

Even on the hardest days, when showers didn’t happen and sleep was non-existent, you most likely managed to meet their every need.

 

Older children need a few things too…

  • Unconditional love
  • Nourishment
  • Hugs, kisses, and snuggles
  • Protection
  • Empathy
  • Patience
  • Self-esteem
  • Assertiveness
  • Independence

 

Most moms know the difficulty that is a day with overtired toddlers and tantrums 35,000 feet in the air.  Most moms know the pain of a child scorned by his peers and the helplessness of standing back and letting him assert his own needs.  Even on the hardest days, you most likely managed to meet their every need.

 

Teens need all of the above, and then some…teens also need:

  • Freedom
  • Unconditional support
  • Gentle guidance
  • Forgiveness
  • Understanding

 

Moms of teens know the anxiety of the missed curfew, the party that might include drinking, and dating.  Moms of teens know about rebellion, self-esteem issues, and friendship trouble.  Even on the hardest days, you most likely managed to meet their every need.

 

It doesn’t matter if you subscribe to the latest and greatest theory in parenting, consult a professional along the way, or just learn by experience.

 

It doesn’t matter if you breastfeed or formula feed, use cloth or disposable diapers, or co-sleep or sleep train.  None of that matters.

 

What matters is that you provide unconditional love, nourishment, affection, and empathy.  What matters is that you always help, and never hurt.  What matters is that you are forgiving, patient, and a positive role model.  What matters is that you care.

 

As you celebrate Mother’s Day, and every other day of being a mom, please remember this:

 

You are all More than Mom Enough.

 

And there is no space in this world for Mommy Wars…

 

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About Katie

Katie Hurley is a Child, Adolescent, and Family psychotherapist and Parenting Expert in Los Angeles, CA. She works in private practice in the South Bay area of Los Angeles and writes freelance for Everyday Family, Moonfrye, and allParenting. She has a rock and roll husband and two kids. Katie believes in love, lattes, and the power of play.

Comments

  1. Awesome! Love this, Katie!

  2. AMEN!!!
    Kate recently posted..Gratitude on Mother’s DayMy Profile

  3. Absolutely. I agree with ALL of this. Perfect way to address this.
    Julia recently posted..Just Like My FlowersMy Profile

  4. This is beautiful, Katie. Thank you so much for writing this. I wholeheartedly agree! What a waste of time to compare and judge and dissect every decision. Let’s spend that time instead loving and connecting with our children. Have a beautiful Mother’s Day! :)
    Gina Osher recently posted..Want To Know What It’s Really Like Raising Twins? Book Review And Give Away!My Profile

  5. Absolutely right on the money!

  6. How nicely and simply said. Happy Mother’s Day to you :)
    Erin recently posted..DIY Fabric SoftenerMy Profile

  7. There should be no war on any issue… How a parent raises their child is ONLY their business… no one elses… period.

  8. Beautiful post! Well said. Happy Mother’s Day!
    Kristin @littlemamajama recently posted..Happy Mother’s Day!My Profile

  9. Beautifully put.
    Love you, Katie! So much.
    Nichole recently posted..Parenting with graceMy Profile

  10. I love that you fight to stop the Mom Wars. There really is no need for them.
    Jessica recently posted..Mother’s Day and a FairyMy Profile

  11. Great read. I’m going to put a link to it on http://www.UrbanBaby.com The women on there always argue about who’s better.

  12. Absolutely love this unifying, encouraging post.

    (You stand for these things, too, don’t you?)
    Galit Breen recently posted..Sunshine and Cookies and FriendshipMy Profile

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