The dark circles under my eyes reveal the stress that I try so hard to conceal during the daylight hours.
Sadly, no amount of concealer can erase night after night of lost sleep.
I wish I could blame teething, nighttime fears, or bedwetting. But this time, it’s all me.
By day I am bright eyed and energized, but when darkness falls the stress creeps in.
By night, the worries expand in size and prevent uninterrupted sleep.
The to-do list multiplies by the second.
The inbox suddenly overflows with messages left unanswered.
The dread of my husband’s very long summer away weighs heavily on my mind. Not because I can’t do it alone. I most certainly can. But right now, I just don’t want to.
I read until my eyes tire.
I label my worries to get them out and think in gratitude as I drift off.
But inevitably, 4am arrives and I wake with a start.
Did I ever RSVP to that evite?
Did I pick up the medicine from sweet girl’s preschool?
Did I get that present in the mail? Because that, I will hear about. That has to be on time…
Do I have enough milk for one more day?
Should I tell the kids today? Is it time to prepare them for a summer without Daddy?
Have I been a good enough mother this week?
Have I been a good enough wife?
Just like that, 4 becomes 6 and the kids will soon rise. I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes for just a few moments more…