Play More, Stress Less

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When I was in college, I spent a glorious summer on the North Shore of Boston as a live-in nanny.  The job was easy and fun.  I loved playing with the three kids, aged 9, 7, and 5, both at home and at their country club swimming pool.  At age 19, I truly enjoyed being around kids, and it was a great gig for me to be working on my tan while keeping them happy and entertained while their mom was able to play golf or tennis.  I recall thinking, however, that it was too bad for the kids that they didn’t get to play with their own mom.  If she happened to be around, they would call for her to watch them, interrupting her conversation with the other club moms on the lounge chairs poolside.  She would pay attention on occasion, but more often than not, I stepped in with the attention.  After all, that was my job!

 

Now that I am a mom of kids the exact same age this summer, it is interesting to see how times have changed.  I am now the mom sitting by the pool sunbathing and chatting with friends, while my kids are calling for me to “Look, look!” and begging for me to jump in with them.  Most of the time, I don’t.  I am dying for a break, a chance to chill and enjoy the fact that they are occupied in the pool.  But sometimes, I take the plunge.  I forget about the fact that I’ll have to redo my hair, or that I’ll be cold, or whatever the concern might be.  I take the risk to just have fun, to play.  And boy do they respond.

 

My girlfriend who was hanging here with me did the same thing the other day, bringing pure joy to her kids’ spirits, and it made me think about what we as moms need to do so that we can be ready to jump in and play with our kids.

 

Make Time for Yourself

Face it, if you have children, you won’t have time to yourself unless you make it happen.  You need to figure out when and how it can happen, and make sure it does.  Whether it’s a coffee date with a friend, a manicure, or even just alone time with a good book while the hubby does the bedtime routine, you need to do this for yourself.

 

Know What Matters Most to Your Kids

For my kids, it’s time with mom in the pool. What is it that your kids desire to do with you?  Some recreational activities kids seem fine to do alone, but for others they are just yearning to do it in relationship with Mom or Dad; it all depends on the individual child, their interests and hobbies, and what matters most to them.  Discovering what type of quality time your child values most is the key to maximizing your quality time together.

 

Just Jump In

Once you have figured out what it is your child is craving, and you’ve met your own needs (even if it’s just a small bit–be honest), it’s time to take the plunge.  Put down your work, forget about the call you were about to make, the dishes that need to be done.  These things can wait.  Time with your precious child simply won’t.  You will never regret the moments you carve out to spend time with the ones you truly love, and chances are, you will end up enjoying it as much as them!

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About Melissa Yost

Melissa Yost is a Clinical Social Worker with extensive experience practicing child and family therapy. She has a BA in psychology from Boston College and MSW from Boston University. Melissa currently resides in Central Florida with her techie husband, three energetic elementary-aged kids, and one cuddly rabbit. She enjoys running, cooking and gardening with her children, traveling, and spending leisurely Saturdays at the beach.