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Appreciating the Little Things

By on December 14, 2011

“It’s only mid-December, but parents everywhere are experiencing the same the parenting challenge:  Lack of gratitude.  I’m hearing it through email, Twitter, Facebook, and just about everywhere I go.  Moms everywhere are reminding their kids to “put it on the list” or “wait and see what Santa brings”.  All. Day. Long.

The underlying fear, of course, is that we are raising kids who lack gratitude.  We are raising wanters instead of givers.  We are raising takers instead of sharers…”

Stop by Mommy Moment to read more about focusing on gratitude and the magic of the holiday season.

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Filed Under: Mommy Moment

Holiday Overload? (Tips for enjoying a stress free holiday season)

By on December 14, 2010

 

It’s only December 12th, but just about every night since Thanksgiving Riley has uttered the following words before bed, “TOMORROW when I wake up will Santa be here?”It’s seems the celebrating starts earlier each year, and when Hanukah falls at the very beginning of December it can make for a very long month of holidays.Depending on your preschool, there is probably a fair amount of project making centered around the holidays starting December 1st.Wreaths, trees, ornaments, gift wrapping, singing…it’s four weeks of curriculum!Then there’s the decorating at home. My sister and her husband, and many of my friends and their spouses, come from different religious backgrounds.Eight nights of Hanukah followed by the seemingly never-ending slow approach to Christmas is enough to send any mom running for cover!Preschoolers love to decorate no matter your holiday.And thanks to the many companies specializing in holiday décor, you will never be at a loss for things to hang around your house!I have to admit, I’m guilty of wanting to decorate early too.I love the smell of a Christmas tree while gingerbread men bake in the oven. It reminds me of home.It’s the one time of year that LA doesn’t feel so different.Everyone gets into the spirit, even if it’s 70 degrees. And my husband gets the party started BEFORE Thanksgiving!He has a love of Christmas music that can’t quite be described, and he truly waits all year to break out the holiday play list again.November 1st is about as long as he can wait.This year I made the mistake of downloading the Salvation Army Holiday Music App to his iPhone in early November.Needless to say, he’s hooked.While all of this early holiday cheer can be fun (or annoying, depending on your tolerance for near constant celebrating) for adults, it can result in holiday overload for toddlers and preschoolers.While four year olds are just starting to grasp a concept of time (they begin to understand that “tomorrow” follows “tonight” and that “a few minutes” is less than “an hour”) most little ones just can’t conceptualize one month, or even one week.When the talk about the holidays begins early, it can make for a very long wait.One of my favorite children’s book authors, Anna Dewdney, just published a new story about this very topic, “Llama Llama Holiday Drama”.We read it daily this point.Get on Amazon now if you don’t already have it. One book can’t completely de-stress your overloaded child, so below are some tips for enjoying a stress-free (or less stressed!) holiday:
1.Countdown Calendars:Riley recently perfected her ability to count backwards from ten.We are now counting down absolutely everything while poor little Liam yells, “no Mommy, that’s not right!” (He recently perfected his ability to count UP to 20!)The point is, aside from Liam, who doesn’t love a countdown?Growing up it used to be that you opened the window of holiday calendar each day to find a different Christmas scene.I remember thinking that it was fun.Leave it to Pottery Barn to make it better.Now you can buy great countdown calendars in all sorts of designs (we have a Christmas tree but I just saw a cute snowman at Target) just about anywhere.Fill it with all sorts of little treats and see their eyes light up each morning, as they get one day closer to the big day.I actually think these can be used for Hanukah too…although you will have to plan ahead to get the dates straight and make sure you start on time (I can barely accomplish this with a December 1st start each year!)The benefit is that it gives them a way to see time pass as they wait to celebrate.They can also make their own by cutting strips of colored paper and using glue to fasten them together to make a chain.Then they can rip one link off each morning and watch the chain become smaller as their holiday approaches.A similar strategy is the “Elf on a Shelf”.It seems many moms have a love/hate relationship with the Elf (given that it adds one more thing to do each night), but I kind of enjoy it.The kids get really excited to find “Elfie” each morning, who is now a part of the family, and it refocuses their attention on a fun holiday game.
2.Focus on giving:Whether they are thinking about eight nights of gifts or one huge pile, it’s a lot of anticipation.With American Girl, Target, and Toys R Us sending new catalogues almost weekly, the wish list can be a mile long by the time mid-December hits.Try to shift the focus on giving.On my birthday Riley asked, “Mommy, do you LOVE getting presents?”Without much thought I replied, “I do, but I really love to give presents.I love to see how people feel when they open a gift that I picked out just for them.”She thought about for a minute and then replied, “I love that too because I always pick special things”.I have to say that she also REALLY LOVES opening her own presents!But today she came home from preschool with a special gift that she made and wrapped just for me.She didn’t want to wait until Christmas.I had to hold back tears when I opened the candle jar, and when I looked up she had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.Focus on giving.Involve your kids in choosing a gift for a sibling, grandparent, cousin, close friend, etc.Teach them to put some thought into it.Let them have that moment of pride when they make someone’s day.
3.Showcase the cards:You know those beautiful holiday cards that start piling up on the counter?Just like the one that you worried about having the perfect picture for?Hang them up for the kids to see (I hang mine along the bookshelves in the family room)!Spend time talking about who is in each card and what that person means to all of you.They are sending you the card because you are important to them.Share that with your kids.Let them ask questions and look at each card as it gets taped up.Enjoy those beautiful cards that your friends worked so hard to create!
4.Send holiday cheer to our troops:I’ve always felt strongly about this one, but through the reconnecting power of Facebook I’ve learned that a few old girlfriends married men in the military.They are lucky to have them home this holiday season, but have spent other holidays (and many, many regular days) apart.No matter what side of the party line you call yours, there’s no arguing that there are many brave men and women (who also happen to be daddies, mommies, siblings, children, etc.) out there keeping our country safe so that we can live our lives as we see fit.Teach your kids to show appreciation for people who help us.Have them decorate Christmas cards for our soldiers and send them overseas.I’m not advocating a discussion on terrorism for toddlers and preschoolers.There are ways to help them understand this very important job without scaring them (they will learn all about it soon enough).When Riley encountered a soldier in an airport she said, “wow, cool outfit.Why does he dress like that?”I replied, “that soldier has a very important job.Just like rules keep us safe at home, rules keep our whole country safe.He helps make sure that everyone follows the rules.”While this is a gross simplification for purposes of teaching a then three year old about soldiers, it helped her to understand that there is always someone looking out for her safety.Sending a card to show appreciation is a great way for kids to reach out.Check out http://www.amillionthanks.org/send-letter-guidelines-get-started.php for more information.
5.Create memories:Everyone has a favorite holiday memory.My husband loved opening his stocking on Christmas morning.I loved the pre-Christmas baking.My mom made huge batches gingerbread and sugar cookie dough (half green, half red) and we all sat around the table with the cookie cutters and various decorating tools.We were on a mission to make the “best” cookie for Santa.It was a magical time.Consequently, I am always baking with my kids!But if baking isn’t your thing, find a fun craft to do as a family.Make ornaments together.Create and end of the year photo album.Have a sing along.Be creative!Do something as a family that you can turn to year after year and know that it will always be fun.
6.Pick a cause:It’s always a good time to teach your kids to give back, but around the holidays the needs seem to increase.While I think we should talk about helping others early and often (even in small ways, like helping someone pick up something they dropped or holding the door for another), it’s a nice idea to pick a cause to focus on during the holiday season.“Toys for Tots” is great for kids because they can actually help choose a toy that they think another child might enjoy.Again, simplify the explanation right now.Don’t burden them with too much overwhelming information, which will most certainly cause them to stay up at night wondering if they will someday be the ones needing the toys.The important thing is to teach them that it’s nice to give to others.Huggies recently conducted their own research, which revealed that 1 in 3 American families struggles to provide diapers for their babies.I’m so horrified by this that I’m telling everyone I know.They are asking for help in the form of donations through their site, or by hosting diaper drives and dropping the diapers at the nearest food bank (which they will locate for you).Consider helping a baby in need and learn more by visiting http://www.huggies.com/en-US/promotions/everylittlebottom
I hear people referencing “holiday stress” more and more these days.Let’s bring the good tidings back to the holiday season by refocusing on giving and creating special memories.The gifts will come and go, but the family traditions will last a lifetime.Enjoy these last few weeks of holiday cheer!
P.S.I recently joined Twitter and can be found at @practicalmom.And please visit my Facebook page when you get a chance by clicking on my badge!Thanks for reading and sharing questions and comments, I look forward to writing each new post for you!

 

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Filed Under: Holiday Tips, Parenting, Parenting Strategies