Breaking the Boy Code
A practical and research-backed discussion of how to improve mental, emotional, academic, and life outcomes for boys
In Breaking the Boy Code: The New Playbook for Raising Resilient Boys, child and adolescent mental health expert and psychotherapist Dr. Katie Hurley delivers a timely and important discussion about the urgent crisis facing boys today. She carefully examines the societal pressures and hypermasculinity that negatively impact boys’ mental health, academic performance, and social relationships.
The book offers actionable steps for both parents and educators who work to support boys aged 5 to 17. It demonstrates how to help them develop emotional resilience, empathy, and healthy relationships. You’ll also find:
- Hands-on and practical steps that parents, caregivers, teachers, and others can implement immediately to improve outcomes for the boys they’re responsible for
- Scripts and strategies for helping young and teenage boys improve their relationships and lives
- The latest research on pre-adolescent and adolescent boys
Perfect for the parents of boys, educators, teachers, coaches, and mental health professionals, Breaking the Boy Code is an essential strategy guide for improving the lives of boys everywhere and for helping them meet the extraordinary challenges posed by contemporary life.
Editorial Reviews
“How we raise boys today shapes the world that they will help build tomorrow. Breaking the Boy Code offers a clear, thoughtful, and deeply practical guide for parents and educators to support boys to grow into emotionally literate, resilient, and healthy adults. Dr. Katie Hurley gives us helpful tools to think about how to raise boys who can thrive throughout life and help others thrive, too.”
– Chelsea Clinton
“An urgent and eye-opening read on the current landscape of mental health and emotional well-being of boys and young men. Blending research and actionable advice, Katie Hurley offers a way forward to a brighter and more connected future for our boys.”
―Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach, authors of Untamed and Wolfpack, and hosts of We Can Do Hard Things podcast
“A powerful, well researched, and hopeful guide for helping parents navigate raising all kinds of boys. Packed with actionable advice parents and educators can use right away, Breaking the Boy Code tackles everything from mental health to the manosphere in an engaging and optimistic way.”
―Julie Lythcott Haims, NYT Bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult
“This book is a compassionate, clear-eyed call to action for anyone raising or teaching boys today. It shines light on the complex pressures shaping modern boyhood―with honesty, empathy, and deep respect for kids and parents alike―and offers research-based tools to help boys grow into kind, resilient, emotionally intelligent young men.”
―Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., New York Times Bestselling Co-Author of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline
“Breaking the Boy Code reflects Hurley’s very personal commitment to boys and her determination to challenge cultural beliefs―the boy code―that compromise their development. Marvelously well-organized, each chapter includes a summary of up-to-date research, stories from her clinical experience, and a rich set of practical suggestions broken down by developmental level. The combination of Hurley’s clear writing and strong advocacy cut through the fog of misinformation and leave readers informed and empowered. I heartily recommend her book.”
―Michael C. Reichert, PhD, author of How to Raise a Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good Men
“Breaking the Boy Code is a timely call to rethink what we teach boys about being boys. With insight and warmth, Katie Hurley charts a path toward raising resilient, emotionally connected boys―free to step beyond the man box and embrace a positive vision of modern-day masculinity.”
―Dr. Robyn Silverman, best-selling author of How to Talk to Kids about Anything and host of the podcast of the same name
“Dr. Katie Hurley wants you to stay close to the boys in your life. In this book, she uses care and humor to examine the many challenges boys face today, incorporating findings from a lot of contemporary research. She pairs these examinations with practical suggestions and advice for parents. It’s a winning combination.”
―Christopher Pepper, co-author of the bestselling book Talk To Your Boys
“Breaking the Boy Code is an timely and essential resource that directly addresses the silent gender gap, where adolescent boys die by suicide at a higher rate than girls. Dr. Hurley provides parents and educators with a blueprint of actionable steps and evidence-based strategies to help boys navigate complex issues and build true social-emotional resilience.”
―John MacPhee, CEO, The Jed Foundation
“Powerful. A searing examination of the problems boys face. Clear-eyed solutions of what to do. For anyone helping boys grow into great men, read this book. It’s a gift.”
―Ned Johnson, coauthor of the national bestseller The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say?
“Breaking the Boy Code is a deeply practical, reassuring, and relatable guide for parents, educators, coaches, and any other adult who seeks to support boys’ healthy development. Drawing on research and her decades of clinical experience, Katie Hurley translates the complex challenges boys face today―from achievement pressure to toxic competition and unrealistic societal expectations―into clear, age-specific strategies adults can use right away. This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to give boys the skills, language, and support they need to connect, communicate, feel comfortable in their vulnerability, and grow into confident, respectful, resilient young men.”
―Phyllis L. Fagell, licensed psychotherapist, school counselor, and author of Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond and How Parents Can Help and Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times
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